SIDE BENEFITS OF A NEW RITUAL

Do you have a ritual that you love, and could ritual provide happiness and reduce our unhelpful habits?

Rituals can allow us to feel connected and they serve us, much like signposts guiding and supporting us on our journey through our day and life. Your morning wash or cup of tea can be a ritual, and so can the celebration of the first veggie from your home garden. Of course, in yoga we have ritual in practice, but I am talking here of our daily experience. I now find I am drawn to meaningful, supportive ritual and on reflection, I think this might be what I have needed for a while. Whether it is my age, the pandemic or something else, it feels right.

I have a morning ritual. I rise at 6:30/7:00 pm and feed my senior dog, then take her for a short walk and I meditate. I have done this every day for the past 6 years. Even when I am tired the walk brings the life sustaining sun and fresh air into my being and it rouses me, marking the start of my day. I have now added a new ritual to my early morning. I ride my bike or walk and listen to the birds and greet the neighbours and their dogs. I focus on the wind in the trees, my breath, the rhythm of my steps on the earth.

If I didn’t take my longer walk or bike ride, I would be in front of my computer. It turns out, this is not beneficial or a way to increase my feelings of wellbeing. When I came to my computer early, I didn’t have energy or the increased feelings of happiness that I have when I connect with nature. My meditation is always wonderful and supportive, but the addition of nature and movement is transformative. I feel enriched and sustained when I make a routine of taking in beauty and movement at the beginning of my day. It is now part of my morning ritual.

Upon reflection of my new ritual, I noticed that I have replaced an old habit that wasn’t supportive. We are always looking to change habits. I am certainly hard on myself and always looking to improve but maybe we could all give ourselves permission to move forward from where we are in the current moment? What if we were less hard on ourselves? What if we thought of a supportive new ritual and not worry about our faults for a moment? Would it make it easier?

We speak in yoga about our patterns of thought that we develop. Many are deeply ingrained. Let us choose our new ritual without worrying about what needs to be changed or what is negative with our behaviour. While I think we all must look at our unhealthy or helpful patterns, what if for once we were so hard on ourselves and we considered a wonderful new ritual/daily experience/pattern for our immediate wellbeing.

If this concept seems interesting, consider a new supportive meaning ritual to add to your life. It could be anything, like a daily call with a loved one, a quiet tea at the same time of day, a walk around the block after dinner. Like me, you may just unknowingly and not consciously replace an unhelpful habit and pleasantly experience the cascading effects.

THE WAY TOO SERIOUS EGO

The ego takes life very seriously. It says, “How am I perceived, and can I look better, be better, and do better than someone else”. The ego is a ladder climber even if it has you climbing a ladder you really have no true interest in climbing. You then ask, “How did I get here?” That is the ego in a nutshell. The ego is a big topic, and this is a small ponder. It is worth the short consideration, so here we go.

Most of us spend a good portion of our days living from our ego and our unconscious patterns or habits. We see “successful” and “popular” individuals as happy, which they may, or may might not be. The grass is always greener is the ego talking to us. I feel like many of us at some point have experienced being at the top of our family/work/social life however we still experienced unhappiness and discontent. That means there is something else, something deeper. It isn’t the good job, the spouse, the raise, and the praise that makes us happy. This makes me so curious. How do we increase happiness and where does it come from?

Yoga teaches us that we are not our ego and that seeking recognition (conscious and unconscious) is unhelpful to live joyfully. The ego is not our truest self, even though it feels that way. The ego is always on the ready even if we feel we are ego free we just might be moving from old patterns formed by the ego. The ego can be controlling and powerful. I am always curious when I feel, or I see others need to be recognized and validated and how we consciously or unconsciously invalidate others? The ego is strong with us humans. Why do I care if my family recognizes that I cleaned the floor? This is a complex, layered concept to navigate.

There have been scholarly non yoga books written on this very subject where we learn many stories of finding purpose and joy. One researcher relayed that he learned that the happiness of his subjects was attached to acting with innermost purpose and drives and not from recognition. For example, one successful executive he interviewed found happiness when they followed a deep interest to help people declutter and never looked back! That is one fantastic and brave leap to greater happiness.

In part, The Bhavagad Gita and Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra speak to where we can focus our attention. There is a seed and fruit analogy used in yoga. I have simplified it below and it can be a useful framework to help us make choices. It helps fine tune where we have control and where we can act. There are three broad groups listed in the texts.

• Dormant seeds waiting to be sprouted. They might not ever sprout, and they are currently hidden. Think both positive and negative.

• Seeds that have sprouted. These are actions already in play. Think of your current physical experience, mental experience. This moment cannot be changed.

• Seeds we are planting. We can plant positive or negative seeds. This is the only place where we can make change to our lived experience.

Each moment we can plant a new seed and take a new direction. We have a choice on seeds we are planting and which direction we are going. The texts say we can make our decision:

• Without attachment to the benefits of the action

• From the ego mind

• With dullness of mind and without moral consequences

To stay focused our side of the grass, non-attachment is vital. If we are attached, we are in the ego mind. If we are in the ego mind and are looking at our neighbour’s grass. Non-attachment is where we experience greater satisfaction and happiness.

If the exploration into the ego and your happiness interests you, decern small seeds (actions) to plant. Plants seeds that highlight your innermost joys. You will know it is right because it will be more effortless. Listen to the deepest parts of your heart. Finding more quiet time to establish a relaxed state for the nervous system and the mind will help set the stage for you to listen deeply and plant incredible seeds.

Act from a place of wonder, peace and curiosity. Giving our amazing gifts without strings can make one feel less confined and it will allow for feelings of happiness and openness to arise. Still, the grass will seem greener on the other side at times. That is part of the fluctuations of the forces of our nature. These forces (guna) are always in flux. We can be moving toward stability, toward inertia/stagnation or moving for the sake of moving. Keep up the effort and continue to turn your boat to ride the waves toward stability. This is where my efforts lie.

Dig deep to uncover those innermost desires and let your joy sing out loud. Kindness and attentiveness for yourself and others. Have fun! We mustn’t take ourselves too seriously…that is the egos job.

AN EXPLORATION: DEVELOPMENT OF SELF THROUGH RIGHT KNOWLEDGE

What knowledge do you use to make decisions? How do you know if your knowledge is correct? When we use incorrect or false knowledge, we make poor decisions, we judge others, and we live unconnected to our innermost wisdom and desires. We become attached and stuck in our stories, fantasies, and memories. It is easy for us to get caught in the weeds of fantasies, dialogs of memories, and misunderstandings. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali is one of the foundational texts used in the study and practice of yoga and it considers how we perceive.

The yoga sutra text is focused on establishing control of the mind. Accurate discernment of knowledge is key to the formulation of productive thoughts and decisions. It is easy to have the ego engaged. It requires more consideration, effort, and stillness to come from a place of discernment and knowing? Here is one small aspect from the Yoga Sutra.

Sutra 1.6, pramana-viparyaya-vikalpa-nidra-smrtayah

pramana– source of right knowledge (Sutra 1.7 perception, interference/logic, testimony) viparayaya– error vikalpa– imagination or fancy nidra– sleep smrtayah– memory

Translated this sutra states-

(The five vrittis* are) right knowledge, error, imagination, sleep, and memory. *vrittis – movements of the mind

According to the sutras, we are in one of above states or its subset at any moment and we are either experiencing harmful, damaging experiences (klista) or non-detrimental (aklista) experiences. The sutras remind us that we can’t fully rely on our perception because our understanding can be shrouded with falsehoods.

Yoga provides the student paths forward with respect to right knowledge. One ultimately must develop the ability to rest in a still and focused mind. Meditation and focus practices are most helpful to live more fully in right perception, right knowledge.

Patanjali writes about stilling the mind and according to the Yoga Sutras this is achieved by moving through the limbs of yoga toward Pratyahara (withdrawal of the senses) and beyond. Withdrawing the senses allows for the practitioner to not be influenced by the external. I often talk in terms of moving to stillness and beyond the body and the senses. We move from the outside and toward the inner world where all is known and unaffected by error, memory, and fantasy. This is a big topic, and we are dipping in a toe. I hope you are just a curious as I am.

Exploration

Join me in exploring how you perceive. Consider using a journal of your thoughts and explore how they change over 30 days. I would recommend doing this work after a meditation but it will also consider thoughts throughout the day as they arise.

1. Take a moment to think of a time when you have experienced the following- correct perception, wrong understanding, imagination or fantasy, sleep (absence of content), and memory (actual or dreams/fantasy).

2. Take a moment to consider your inner dialog, beliefs and explore your truths, your errors of perception, fantasies, you the stories you tell yourself and put out to the world.

3. How you can support pramana or right knowledge for your development of self. What practices help you? Think outside the box too;)